First journal I write in MONTHS here, and it's a rant. Go figure :/
Things feel kinda meh at the moment. Still unemployed and getting so much paperwork from unemployment too. I get they want me to find a job, but you guys don't think I have enough stress and pressure on me without you adding to it? Just irritating.
Then had some "friends" last night basically lay into us about how we aren't interacting with them anymore and we don't go out and do stuff like we used to and they're feeling like we don't wanna hang out with them anymore. Mind you only 1 of the 2 friends here has a job. The other is in school right now after being out for a couple of years and travels the world because he can. I have NO idea where he gets his money from, maybe the govt or something. Says how he drives a far distance to come down here and how our other friend still makes an effort to come even though he has a shit job too. Really? I was so pissed off last night I started crying in the middle of the conversation and actually left during it. I didn't wanna hear that crap anymore. We've opened our home to you and this is how you treat us? My fiancee works 40+ hour weeks, so needless to say, he's tired. He likes to use this time to kick back and relax and have company over. Granted there have been times where he would put on his headphones and watch videos on his computer, which I thought was rude but I kept forgetting to talk to him about it. Besides the fact, we're tight on money, with me not having a job and all. They're like ohh but there's stuff you can do for free and all that, like go to the beach, play tennis or go night surfing. Well the last 2 I don't do. I've never played tennis and idk how to swim, so yeah, that leaves me out. The one guy said since he's lost so much weight, he has more energy now to do stuff. Well that's fine, then take your gf out and do stuff with her. No one forces you to come down every weekend. You CHOOSE to come here, the insult us in our own home? That's not how a friend is. Texted another friend last night asking him if we were bad hosts and people. He was like no and even asked if the other 2 were on crack. Made me laugh when he said that, but he even agreed that was pretty f'd up on their end. Of course guys being guys, all made up and acted like nothing has happened, but I don't get over stuff so easily. I can't just laugh and get over it. They did apologize for upsetting me and making me cry, but I still feel like crap today because of the whole situation, and I don't really want them back in my house because of it. I mean I see where they are coming from too, but take a step back and not think about only yourselves for once. We even mentioned anytime we have tried to introduce new games, the one guy just rags on it and thinks it's dumb. He said he was being sarcastic, but it's hard to tell the difference with him.
Just frustrated and not what I wanted to hear considering I have my own problems now. But do they take that into consideration? Nope. Just tired and frustrated is all. Thanks to those who took the time to read this, just needed to get it off my chest. I feel bad for my fiancee because he's the one who has to be with me in the aftermath, and I'm feeling rather depressed anymore, so it brings him down too. Just feeling at my whits end anymore and don't know what to do.